zip-oh

It’s okay! ‘Chill!’ as they say in LA and Surbiton, I’m okay. I’ve had literally no-one wondering where the ruddy fuck this week’s latest instalment of hangovers, swearing and fairy liquid is. IT’S OKAY!! It’s here, yeah.

The reason it is late, by the way, is that the ‘excellent news’ mentioned a couple of posts back is rather time consuming –it involves writing by the way, and I’m getting paid, not much, but paid nonetheless. This is for free as you know, and will continue to be so. Amen.

So, where were we? I have to say not much has gone down since I last posted, though Saturday was a bit large. I can’t recall how it all began but IC and I invited my bro, Neil and Sian over for dinner, we also invited Jane and Adam on the off chance they’d show.

I began making the Bolognaise for said dinner last Thursday, I like it when it’s sat in the fridge for a while -serve the stuff straight from the pot just after it’s been made isn’t right, all that flavour gets lost. By Saturday, and after much adjusting, tinkering, the stuff was perfect. IC and I went out in the sunshine to do some shopping after I’d completely failed to start Johnston. I spent almost an hour leaping up and down on him, busting my shin in the process and actually soaking sweat through my leathers (unless you were aware Johnston was a 76’ Triumph Bonneville that last sentence read wrong.)

We met my bro in the beer garden of the local and all came home as one. Neil and Sian came over with cocktail shakers and subsequent ingredients and off it all kicked, Cosmo’s, wine and a ton of food, which was sensational, even by my own pedantic standards. I was so busy rushing around, and Neil so quick on the draw with the shaker, I didn’t notice how arseholed I was until, out the blue, Jane and Adam showed up.

Now we were 7, everything was going swimmingly, my bro suggested we crack open IC’s telescope and have a look at the full moon, apparently at its closest in 20 odd years. None of us had a clue how to use it and the instructions were somewhere… until it transpired Adam knew his business. Five minutes later we were staring into the Moon’s craters, I have to say it fair did our little pissed heads in, my bro and I were still popping to the balcony for a look way after 4am which is about time my memory gives in, though I do recalling knocking my zippo off said balcony. That could’ve killed someone, or a baby fox (it still works just fine even though it’s peppered with tiny dents)

IC and I woke at 1-ish with my bro splashed out on the sofa bed in the lounge that now resembled a sink estate. The afternoon was totally fucked; we sat about watching TV feeling like walnuts’ until IC went out at 6 leaving me in the company of the first Moto GP of the season.

The week has struggled past work-wise but most definitely helped by the arrival of the big yellow thing in the sky. IC and I celebrated the first day of spring on Monday, on Wednesday and Thursday I met a couple of pals in the boozer overlooking London Fields for an early evening pint and woven in between have been three trips to the sodding gym, which hurt like murder.

Before I bid you all a merry weekend and present Gerry’s chart, has any else noticed that world seems to be going fucking crazy, Japan, Libya, and now Pixie Geldof has dyed her hair orange.

Check out the choon, it’s Top of the Pops!

NO. ARTIST SONG TITLE Last Week Weeks On High Pos
30 Children Of Bodom Was It Worth It? 19 4 18
29 Snoop Dogg v David Guetta Sweat NE 1 29
28 Two Door Cinema Club What You Know 18 11 1
27 The Levellers Family NE 1 27
26 Wiz Khalifa Black And Yellow NE 1 26
25 The Wombats Anti-D 28 2 25
24 Hurts Sunday 16 8 4
23 Glasvegas Euphoria Take My Hand 29 2 23
22 Mona Teenager 13 8 4
21 Young Guns Stitches NE 1 21
20 Kings Of Leon The Immortals 22 3 20
19 REM Uberlin 11 6 7
18 Alex Turner Submarine 24 2 18
17 The View Grace 17 3 17
16 Band Of Horses Dilly 8 9 2
15 Beth Ditto I Wrote The Book 15 4 15
14 Pigeon Detectives Done In Secret NE 1 14
13 Grinderman Palaces Of Montezuma 25 2 13
12 The Vaccines If You Wanna 14 3 12
11 Elbow Neat Little Rows 9 7 9
10 Interpol Lights 21 2 10
9 Chapel Club Surfacing 6 10 1
8 The Strokes Under Cover Of Darkness 12 5 8
7 Foo Fighters Rope 10 3 7
6 We Are The Ocean What It Feels Like 7 4 6
5 White Lies Strangers 5 4 5
4 Panic! At The Disco The Ballad Of Mona Lisa 3 5 3
3 Poly Styrene Virtual Boyfriend 4 4 3
2 Morning Parade A & E 1 4 1
1 Cage The Elephant Shake Me Down 2 7 1