Category Archives: Variety Club

trimmings

Due to passing comments made by Myfwt I spontaneously decided to have my haircut at lunchtime yesterday. Myfwt said I merely needed a trim so with this advice in mind I entered the salon. The place was stuffed full of South African girls, there must have been 10 of them, all sitting about talking in Afrikaan. Ten heads swivelled to face me and I watched 20 eyes drop to my crotch … Jesus, no. My flies… With no ‘cool’ options available, my instinct to just run off was compromised by a dignity play-off between excepting my fate and sheer cowardice, I merely coughed out an *oops* and reached down to retrieve my zip slider. I wasn’t expecting to discover that my flies were done up and I was merely stood in front of 10 female strangers playing with my penis. My erotic display was curtailed by someone in a strong South African accent sharply calling my name, ‘yes’, I said as if being called into court.

Still mulling over what had occurred a rather round, cheery lass led me down to the sink to wash my hair. Not forgetting that minutes earlier she’d been watching a red faced man grappling with his manhood, this is the part that concerns me the most, the awkward conversation (‘soew, whet ded yow doo fer neeu yez ev??’) coupled with the actions of a stranger touching my head in a pseudo sensual, albeit necessary, manner makes for a confusing, difficult, though not entirely unpleasant episode. When at last she finally got round to cutting my hair, and after a period of more staccato chit chat, I have to say she performed as instructed and my hair was looking pretty much as it did but trimmed and shaped in a manner that I approve of. The acid test was that when I got back into the office, no one noticed.

Last night was rather jolly; Cunt is defiantly absent, for how long I don’t know though naturally I’m rooting for ‘permanent’ on account of death, so Myfwt were able to enjoy a night of peace. The sword of Cunt still hangs but as the evening wore on I was more confident that I wouldn’t suddenly be disturbed by an impromptu performance of Stomp by the Variety Club.

The Friday list in the past has attracted rather a lot of oddballs to Piqued, so, from now on, the list will be edited to searches that only amuse or encourage visitors from reputable sources. You may notice it’s somewhat shorter. Following this is a (modern!) tune to delight.

Have splendid weekends, the first full week of January is history.

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