Category Archives: x-box violence

horrific sow

There is this enormous arsehole at work, from the moment she blotted my landscape and gave me the once over, I despised her. Judgemental I may be but unless someone goose steps into the office smeared in dog shit I won’t make an instant decision as to whether I will or won’t like them. My instant dislike of this mutated potato was based on the way she initially regarded me. As I was being introduced to her I could see her fringed lip curl up, her piggy eyes narrowed and it took all of my resolve to not point out that she needed a shave prior to stabbing my Bic into her fucking forehead.

In hindsight I was wrong, she’s actually far more unpleasant than I thought. She positively ignores me (I am a director for fucks sake, the only reason she’s not bouncing down the road by the way is that she’s good at what she does, business is business and all that) and she’s overtly horrid to most of my colleagues yet expects everyone to instantly respond to what ever the fuck it is she wants, which shouldn’t be help with turning on the computer, it should be assisting a crane operator to get her on a ducking stool.

Worst of all she’s sat a few feet away from me. I can see her as I type this. Christ, she’s just sat there like barnyard accident, her massive purple head dropped down to slurp tea from a bone china cup and saucer… we don’t have any bone china cup and saucers in here, she must have bought it from home, Jesus, not even our fucking mugs are good enough for her. What a fucking fat, sanctimonious, misery- generating old shit.

When I got in last night I heard the sound of Cunts hairy kid screaming its fucking head off, and there was me yesterday thinking it was gone. The sound of screaming was accompanied by “ka-boom ta ta ta, arghhh, move them to the front, eeeeeUUUU ARRRGHHHH KA-FUCKING BOOM AIIEEEEE” as the ludicrously untalented mentally damaged half wit carried out X-Box manoeuvres whilst his unattended offspring cried its face off. I’ve no idea where his emaciated partner was while all of this parental irresponsibility was taking place, for all I know she could’ve been in there flicking her self off with a crack pipe.

I have a hangover, beer, wine and Sake, in that order, due to Frank, 8mm (which is unnecessarily horrific) and Sonic Youth, in that order. But at least it’s Friday. I’ve a bloody busy weekend coming up; loads of mates appearing from different parts of the country for no reason whatsoever save a bit of a jolly. I’ll let you know how it goes.

In the meantime, the harrowing list of those that stumble on these rantings in error, followed by a soothing Family Guy short to take your mind of it.

Nice weekends all, play nicely, yeah.

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