on any tuesday

You’re rather lucky to have a Piqued today, if that’s your want.

Whilst I’m an enormous fan of motorcycles I am aware that there is a certain danger aspect involved in their usage, this isn’t usually down to the motorcyclist per se I hasten to add. Even after years of prangs and near misses I still get a little upset when it comes to motorists trying to kill me but today’s incident(s) even next to the yardstick of my experience, beggars belief. In the space of 20 seconds I was nearly knocked off 3 times by 3 different four-wheeled fucks.

I was approaching a crossroads on the outside of a queue of vehicles as the lights changed, one of those homosexual pick up things with a name like MACHOGRRR suddenly performed a U turn and I performed an emergency stop, not a simple operation at the best of times but as I was now in the centre of the road this procedure was conducted on shale, so the bike slid in a most uncongenial fashion and I missed the bastard by centimetres. I leant on my horn, revved the shit out of the engine and used expletives, the fairy driving looked suitable shaken and weakly apologised so I moved off over the junction.

Due to my noise and display of accident avoiding skills the traffic had stopped to gawp so I crossed the junction ahead of all the wankers in cars where I narrowly missed a white van who’d jumped the lights to my left and to my fucking horror another one coming in the other direction who’d taken it on himself to turn right across my path, for the third time I had to brake hard as the van whisked in front of me leaving a hairs width gap. This time I went apeshit, holding up the queue behind, slap bang in the centre of the junction and I issued a complicated statement of gestures and dark language to all the fucking cars in the world before setting off with my rear wheel spinning, still shouting. By the time I arrived here I felt physically sick and needed a quiet sit down to process my remarkable escape from being spread over south London like angry Marmite.

I had a totally unremarkable Monday; Myfwt still in the throes of smoking abstinence has decided being around me isn’t assisting her cause so she stayed at her gaff whilst I yawned myself to death in mine. I was saved by two glasses of wine and another viewing of ‘On Any Sunday’ a delicious 1970’s documentary on motorcycle racing in the USA. Apart from being beautifully shot it features, in passing, Steve McQueen who had more than passing talent on a bike (btw he didn’t perform the jump in The Great Escape as the studio wouldn’t allow it, that was a chap called Bud Ekins, though McQueen was more than capable though on the strength of watching his talents in the film) and the whole thing is a homage to how jolly wonderful it is to ride. I’m not sure how non-bike fans would enjoy it and frankly I don’t give a shit.

Today’s youtube offing was recorded in one take. Apparently they were introduced to each other and after barely speaking a word the cameras rolled, they became lovers after they wrapped then split acrimoniously some months later and both featured the other on their next albums.