Monthly Archives: December 2010


As implied, the past couple of days have been rather heavy. I saw Rosh on Wednesday at a posh boozer in Holland Park –posh enough to host Victoria Wood who was drinking (vodka and ginger beer) with what I assume was her agent- and got fucked. At some point bread-based fare was consumed in between the bottles of house-red and gales of laughter, which was handy for the dreadful trip home.

It was about 10.30 when I arrived at my local. This wasn’t on the cards but IC had texted me to say that one of our pals had invited us there for birthday drinks, as she was engaged with her office Christmas party I thought I’d go, foolishly.

As it turned out IC was a day early, but Anton was there anyway so I figured I’d stick around until midnight to get the greetings in early… I arrived home before 1am fucking arseholed and got stuck into some music. At around 3am rolled in, she was in a worse state than me… in fact I was quite terrified for the journey she’d just taken. After that all becomes a bit hazy.

As you can imagine the hangover yesterday was rather intense but I muddled through, I got some work done, saw Swineshead for a cuppa, cleaned the flat and did a spot of shopping for the evening’s knees-up at 9.

Oscar had invited a few friends over to his for a festive cheese and wine party, but first we nipped to the local to see Anton. I had to ask him if he’d been home since our last meeting as he was sat in the exact same spot. We had one with him and made the brief 5-minute journey to the party.

On entering Oscars flat the smell of cheese was enough to snap back the head. A bunch of our gothy mates were crowded round a large table groaning with a vast and varied selection of cheese and, as it happens, wine. We got stuck into the comestibles and social wotnots like professionals and a superb evening unfurled like a spring Crocus, though a somewhat more pungent version.

In many respects this was our last London hurrah before New Years Eve and we took full advantage of the occasion. Oddly I didn’t feel too bad when I got up this morning, this may have been down to the cheese that made itself know to me a couple of hours ago when I nearly smashed the bog in the office. It was like giving birth to Mike Tyson’s neck.

I’m off to see Hawkwind tonight with Jamie and on Saturday we pack, attend an appointment (you’ll know what/why soonish) meet my bro, then a few friends for drinks before a quiet dinner at a favourite restaurant and at 3am in the fucking morning we set off for Stanstead to catch the flight to Italy…

So allow me to wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I’ll be back on here before the 7th to tell what happened.

Here’s Gerry’s chart and a festive smash-up. Be good.

NO. ARTIST SONG TITLE Last Week Weeks On High Pos
30 Vampire Weekend Run NE 1 30
29 Grinderman Worm Tamer 21 6 10
28 The Drums Me And The Moon NE 1 28
27 The View Sunday 19 5 14
26 My Chemical Romance Sing 26 2 26
25 Corey Taylor X-MA$ NE 1 25
24 Frankie And The Heartstrings Ungrateful 15 11 3
23 Apocalyptica ftBrent Smith Not Strong Enough 18 5 18
22 Arcade Fire The Suburbs 27 2 22
21 Hurts AllIWant For Christmas Is NewYear’sDay NE 1 21
20 The National Terrible Love 13 6 13
19 Mona Trouble On The Way 26 2 19
18 Sleigh Bells Infinity Guitars 10 7 3
17 Kings Of Leon Pyro 14 4 14
16 The Vaccines Wreckin’ Bar (Ra Ra Ra) 16 2 16
15 Bullet For My Valentine Bittersweet Memories 22 3 15
14 Two Door Cinema Club I Can Talk 8 9 2
13 IsobelCampbell&MarkLaneganYouWon’tLetMeDownAgain 95 9
12 Blood Red Shoes Light It Up 11 5 11
11 Paramore Playing God 16 4 11
10 Japanese Voyeurs Milk Teeth 12 3 10
9 Manic Street Preachers Some Kind Of Nothingness 6 4 6
8 White Lies Bigger Than Us 17 2 8
7 The Pretty Reckless Just Tonight 20 2 7
6 Skunk Anansie Over The Love 5 7 5
5 Beady Eye Bring The Light 7 3 5
4 Hurts Stay 4 9 1
3 The Courteeners Scratch My Name Upon Your Lips2 5 2
2 Crystal Castles ft R Smith Not In Love 3 5 2
1 Pulled Apart By Horses Yeah Buddy 1 5 1


This is the second to last post this year; I’m off to Italy this weekend and not back until the end of the month. Then I’ve a succession of parties and bashes that will include post-Christmas hurrahs, New-Years-Eve cheers and at some fucking point, Birthday screaming.

It may come as no surprise -to my couple of regulars- that the ‘party’ aspect of the season has already begun in earnest. The weekend past was somewhat weighty, Friday kicked off with a rare visit from my Sis and Bro-in-low for a few glasses of pop and perhaps the odd smoke. But prior to that I made my way to an early gig with Mary to watch a mate fiddle about with electronic machinery in order to generate sound. It was excellent, both soporific and exhilarating and I could’ve easily spent the evening watching him but I had to leave to meet my guests.

Following a mad public-transport dash I’d managed to time their arrival perfectly, not being au fait with the East I’d arranged to meet them at a location in Hackney and they appeared just as I’d walked out the supermarket bearing many pizzas and snack-based eats. We put in a good one, my Bro joined us at 10-ish and way after IC, Sis n’ Bro-in-low had crashed, he and I remained up smoking and drinking the midnight oil.

This made the fry-up at lunchtime (-ish) in the local café the following day pretty much a dead certainty. We ate a load and my bro left IC and I to it and we slouched the afternoon off watching The Walking Dead.

We set off at 5 for the pub by Regents Canal in Angel and hooked up with Sue, Ned and my bro who wasn’t looking too clever. There was some sort of party going on downstairs, bunch of pissed cunts they were, that gradually rose to the main bar and made our quiet little drink almost impossible. By 8 we’d had enough, we said cheerio to our pals and IC and I met up with Mary prior to arriving at a club in Dalston where the latter was due on the decks at 1am.

As usual the place was reasonable quiet on arrival but an hour later, rammed. The atmosphere of the previous boozer had also arrived in the form of ‘cunts’ who set about annoying the odd punter, including me. A little fella, flanked by a much bigger one, poured beer over the back of my trousers during Mary’s set. It was clear when I turned to examine the source of this annoyance they were angling for a spot of bother, but fortunately I was surrounded by about ten pals who in unison turned to face the protagonists who then awkwardly shuffled off, never to be seen again.

Despite this rather mundane incident it was a splendid evening and very reasonable on the wallet, various bods bought me drinks and they appeared in rapid succession, by the time IC and I got home at 4-ish we were rather tipsy/fucking arseholed.

Sunday started after lunch, IC and I met Mary and Patti at The Flower Market on Columbia Road and we purchased a baby Christmas tree that we took to the pub by The Hackney Empire for mulled wine. The tree didn’t have any but we did.

Later in the afternoon we watched ‘Frozen,’ that was a lot better than I’d anticipated, actually it was jolly good, then IC and I met Gerry (him of the chart) on Old Street in the evening for a few Christmas drinks, which was jolly nice indeed.

We had the Monday off, ostensibly to undertake a few horrific hours Christmas gift purchasing on Oxford Street. IC and I went our separate ways on arrival so we could indulge in private shopping. When I say ‘private shopping’ I don’t mean it as going into ‘private shops’ which would involve dildos, dollies and the like (such as cuffs and poppers.)

It was fucking horrific as I’m sure you can imagine, millions of people all wandering aimlessly, though intently, in and out of shops dragged down by huge sharp-pointed bags that seemingly contained nothing. I was in this mess for over two hours and I only made one poultry acquisition. I’m not afraid to admit that I was feeling the effects of the previous pair of days and at any given point would have cheerfully barked up the ham and coleslaw sandwich I’d rushed down before we left.

By the time we’d finished it was dusk, we made our way home narrowly avoiding rush hour. We sorted ourselves out and went off to meet Mary at hers for dinner; she’d made some Moroccan dishes and they were all delicious, but the fish balls were particularly excellent, as was the raspberry and almond vodka we had for pudding.

On Tuesday I was forced into the fucking office for political reasons, it wasn’t a complete waste of time as I was in the vicinity to see Frank for a couple after work.

From here on in I’m fully booked until I set off. Join me on Friday for one last post this year.

Go on. Fucking do it.


When I changed Doctors a few months ago I was advised to have a blood test, I spurned the advice until IC reminded me I was of a certain age and liked the odd drink/smoke. If anything was/is wrong best to know sooner rather than later, she said. I’m happy to be blissfully ignorant but after much insistence I found myself at Homerton Hospital on Wednesday morning.

It’d taken me an age to get there (despite it being relatively close to my gaff) and I wasn’t best pleased to be stuffed into a room with 50-odd people all waiting in line to be tested. I took my ticket (49, the board said we were on fucking 3) and sat down.

In this room was the world, every possible creed, colour, religion, class, gender… almost to the point no two people were anything approaching the same. It was quite sobering and in some respects rather, well, nice.

A tall, elderly Jewish bloke with a black hat and long grey beard sat down beside me, he read his Torah for a bit then fell asleep. After an hour and a half (38, 11 to go) he woke up and whispered to me, ‘if I’m asleep when my number comes up can you please wake me,’ I said ‘of course’ and he showed me his number, 50.

A short while later, just as I was reading an obituary about Ehud Netze, the Israeli archaeologist who discovered Herod’s Tomb, my number came up. As I left I passed the paper to the old Jewish bloke who wordlessly took it from me, I had the test (oddly painless and bloody quick) and went to exit via the waiting room.

The old Jewish bloke was looking up at me from the corner of the room where we’d been sat, ‘thank you for this,’ he said, waving the article; I noticed the board had called 52…
‘Dude!’ I said (I’m not really au fait with the correct way to address elderly Jewish men) ‘you’ve missed you slot…’ and I gestured toward the board. He looked up.
‘Oh shit,’ he said loudly.

It’s been a quiet week, the quiet before the proverbial storm as, hereon in, I’m fully booked, right up until we set off for Italy Sunday week. In addition to this social whirl I’ve got loads of Christmas-based shopping and shit to do, the whole thing is literally giving me a headache.

For the first time in ages I rode Johnston into work today. Before the snow I’d sorted the blown bulb and, after buying a battery charger, injected a new lease of life into the cells. I have to say I took off Johnston’s cover with a certain degree of trepidation, it’s been fucking cold, icy, snow, wet… these sorts of conditions do not a happy bike make.

I threw in the battery and prepared the carbs, switched on the ignition, gave the kickstart a few cursory prods before jumping down hard… and she bloody roared straight into life. I actually nearly wept.

The subsequent ride in was just awesome, something you can’t possibly understand unless you know. I’m never leaving it that long again, ever.

Gerry’s penultimate chart before 2011 (as far as Piqued is concerned) a shameless tune from within (sorry about the Ad, it’s worth it) and a personal wish that you all enjoy getting right fucked up over the weekend, as I intend.


NO. ARTIST SONG TITLE Last Week Weeks On High Pos
30 Escape The Fate Issues 23 4 20
29 My Chemical Romance Sing NE 1 29
28 We Are Scientists I Don’t Bite 17 9 4
27 Arcade Fire The Suburbs NE 1 27
26 Mona Trouble On The Way NE 1 26
25 Biffy Clyro Booooom Blast And Ruin 18 7 7
24 The Vaccines Wreckin’ Bar (Ra Ra Ra) NE 1 24
23 Alice In Chains Lesson Learned 15 6 5
22 Bullet For My Valentine Bittersweet Memories 28 2 22
21 Grinderman Worm Tamer 12 5 10
20 The Pretty Reckless Just Tonight NE 1 20
19 The View Sunday 14 4 14
18 Apocalyptica ft Brent Smith Not Strong Enough 20 4 18
17 White Lies Bigger Than Us NE 1 17
16 Paramore Playing God 24 3 16
15 Frankie And The Heartstrings Ungrateful 9 10 3
14 Kings Of Leon Pyro 19 3 14
13 The National Terrible Love 13 5 13
12 Japanese Voyeurs Milk Teeth 22 2 12
11 Blood Red Shoes Light It Up 16 4 11
10 Sleigh Bells Infinity Guitars 5 6 3
9 IsobelCampbell&MarkLanegan YouWon’tLetMeDownAgain104 9
8 Two Door Cinema Club I Can Talk 2 8 2
7 Beady Eye Bring The Light 11 2 7
6 Manic Street Preachers Some Kind Of Nothingness 8 3 6
5 Skunk Anansie Over The Love 6 6 5
4 Hurts Stay 3 8 1
3 Crystal Castles ft Robert Smith Not In Love 7 4 3
2 The Courteeners Scratch My Name Upon Your Lips 2 4 2
1 Pulled Apart By Horses Yeah Buddy 1 4 1


Friday was an odd affair; it didn’t really feel like the joyous day it was supposed to be. I reasoned that this had something to do with my spending almost a week working from home with nothing much doing. The snow had frozen my bit of London to a veritable standstill, it was almost impossible to get down the end of my road without the very real chance of breaking ones fucking hip, which was somewhat irksome as the pub was at the end of this treacherous bit of pavement.

Going out, unless vital, was a bad idea. This meant that the usual lunchtime stroll or trip to the gym had to be put on hold; this didn’t do much to contribute to my dour mood. So on Friday I was largely fed up, and the fact I was feeling fed up on a Friday of all days made me feel even more fed up.

Making things even worse we’d no plans for the evening as IC and I couldn’t decide what we wanted to do, it was so fucking cold the thought of being outside for more than five minutes countered any ideas we may have had, so I didn’t have anything positive to focus on. Predictably we settled on the local, as we’d spent the previous evening there for a quick drink on the way back from the shops I was even less inclined to go than usual, but it was essential I got out of the flat for a bit. We were home after an hour, the place was unusually crowded, so we settled in front of the telly and saw the weekend in like that.

Saturday was a little livelier. Due to the awful weather the auto jumble I was supposed to attend with dad early in the morning was cancelled, so IC and I headed off to my sisters gaff in deepest darkest Surrey for birthday celebration purposes. It took a couple of hours to get there, my bro-in-law had to pick us up from Woking station and drive us to their gaff through piles of snow, slush and ice, we got off lightly in London.

We arrived at 1 (on time for once) parents and nieces ready for us and a splendid afternoon passed off with fisherman’s pie, cake and wine. As I get older I’m more aware of how lucky I am in terms of my family and the fact we all get on so well. IC and I managed to take it easy with the wine; we had plenty to do when we got back to the smoke, not least, shop.

The Tesco in Hackney is always packed but at the weekends it’s virtually impossible, but it’s worth noting that the many times I’ve been forced to visit this fucking shop during peak hours I’ve yet to see someone be rude or aggressive to someone else, which is quite remarkable when all things are considered. The reason for this particular shop was to get some ingredients for dinner, IC and I had invited Mary over and we’d decided to do the job properly, apperitivo with snacks, starter, main and pudding, which Mary had bought over in the form of Bakewell Tart.

We kicked off at 7-ish with a few drinks with some cured meats, prawns and crackers to warm-up on, and then moved onto the grown-up table for a starter of salmon terrine. For main I roasted potatoes’, onion, garlic and tomato and when almost ready bunged in some fresh fish with a ‘herb crust,’ an impromptu and poorly prepared afterthought that, frankly, failed to work. IC and Mary didn’t seem to mind though. After the tart we let loose with some excellent cheese that required Port, and anything else we could glean from the little bar in the corner. By 2am IC was particularly pissed which Mary and I found highly amusing, I must have been well on my way too because I can’t recall much after until the following morning.

Oddly, I woke up surprisingly alright. I put this down to the fact we were eating throughout the evening but nonetheless, it was still a pleasant surprise. We took ourselves off for a stroll round London Fields and stopped for coffee at Broadway Market. It was a lovely day, fucking cold mind.

For the last few Sundays IC and I have been (foolishly) popping over to a nice little boozer a couple of miles away for a mid afternoon quaff. This week we thought again, and decided that we’d go anyway. We didn’t stay too long but it was a most agreeable diversion home.

I went to work yesterday, the office was quiet and there was a lot of sniping among my colleagues, I kept my head down and did nothing, as usual. After a harrowfying journey back to the East I met IC and Merve at a pub in Shoreditch, Merve had kindly agreed to look over some documents for us in his capacity as a solicitor. The nature of these documents may be revealed in the New Year but for now, I leave you safe in the knowledge we all got arseholed.

I’m having a day off the pop today.


I managed to make it into the office on Tuesday, it was already bloody cold but the reluctantly falling snow hadn’t really got a grip on the ground. Nonetheless, it was already apparent that a lot of London wasn’t making much of an effort to go about its usual business in anticipation of something more severe. By Wednesday evening the snow was falling relatively heavily and more pertinently, settling. I have to say I was rather surprised, I knew the weather had been affecting other parts of the UK, but as I don’t live in other parts of UK I couldn’t have give a flying vee, now it was directly effecting me I got round to being more interested/concerned.

What annoyed me more than the weather were the whinging bloody British moaning about train cancellations, blocked roads and general disruption caused by the weather. A cursory glance at other European cities more used to this sort of weather (including Sweden I hasten to add) would’ve indicated that no-one was prepared for a deluge so early-on in the year, it’s still autumn after all.

Also we don’t really have snow in England, not like the rest of Europe, and when we do it’s no more than a mere dusting. I for one would be livid if my various contributions to the government’s coffers was spent on snow ploughs and an extra 500 gritters, especially at a time of cuts to public services. Anyway, now it’s time for all those ‘All Terrain’ 4×4 owners that dominate Kensington and Chelsea to show their mettle… the good people of Surrey won’t be affected by the snow either because virtually every person there has at least two! And… pardon? The Surrey police have warned all motorists in the county to not travel unless utterly essential. I fucking give up.

Despite the dreadful weather I’ve been gingerly creeping out in the evening for the odd glass of vino to the local with IC. I can’t say it’s been easy though, the snow is one thing but now it’s packed and become sheet ice, which makes walking problematic. Of course I’ve fucked my back trying to negotiate pavements and roads, I’m so paranoid about slipping and fucking up my back I tense up which fucks up my back.

Still, I fully intend to have a fulfilling and relaxed weekend. So join me (after Gerry’s chart and (top) tune) to see what went down apart from me. Good day, good weekends, good.

NO. ARTIST SONG TITLE Last Week Weeks On High Pos
30 Enter Shikari Destabilise 21 4 17
29 Gorillaz Doncamatic 27 2 27
28 Bullet For My Valentine Bittersweet Memories NE 1 28
27 Tinie Tempah Written In The Stars 18 8 2
26 Brandon Flowers Only The Young 29 2 26
25 Killing Joke European Super State 16 11 1
24 Paramore Playing God 30 2 24
23 Escape The Fate Issues 20 3 20
22 Japanese Voyeurs Milk Teeth NE 1 22
21 Eels Baby Loves Me 14 4 14
20 Apocalyptica ft Brent Smith Not Strong Enough 24 3 20
19 Kings Of Leon Pyro 26 2 19
18 Biffy Clyro Booooom Blast And Ruin 12 6 7
17 We Are Scientists I Don’t Bite 9 8 4
16 Blood Red Shoes Light It Up 22 3 16
15 Alice In Chains Lesson Learned 7 5 5
14 The View Sunday 15 3 14
13 The National Terrible Love 13 4 13
12 Grinderman Worm Tamer 10 4 10
11 Beady Eye Bring The Light NE 1 11
10 Isobel Campbell Mark Lanegan YouWon’tLetMeDownAgain 11 3 10
9 Frankie And The Heartstrings Ungrateful 5 9 3
8 Manic Street Preachers Some Kind Of Nothingness 23 2 8
7 Crystal Castles ft Robert Smith Not In Love 17 3 7
6 Skunk Anansie Over The Love 6 5 6
5 Sleigh Bells Infinity Guitars 3 5 3
4 The Courteeners Scratch My Name Upon Your Lips 8 3 4
3 Hurts Stay 1 7 1
2 Two Door Cinema Club I Can Talk 2 7 2
1 Pulled Apart By Horses Yeah Buddy 4 3 1