Category Archives: fucking neighbour

happy family

This is late because I’ve been in the city having high profile meetings with corporations that own most of the fucking world, the upshot of all this is was a well meant invitation to some swanky fucking concert, an invitation I am unable to refuse thus satisfactorily putting a throbbing bulls dick in my Friday evening. To make matters worse Myfwt is in flat cap and clog land to see her mum for a birthday, so as all of my friends enjoy the relaxing sounds of grindcore and metal, I will arrive alone for the concert on Friday looking like the first cunt out of water.

I had a busy day yesterday that bore some fruit, finally, and I cycled home in the pissing rain gladdened by the arranged visit from Myfwt in the evening. I made supper; chicken and mushroom pasta bake which, although a bit Delia, was a triumph. We watched some TV, Family Guy stamped a prodigious end to the evening before bed happened.

At precisely 6.07 I was awoken by a sort of shrieking sobbing, I think this may have been going on for some time because the dream I was having involved an argument with rock-titted Dannii Minogue after she’s tried to nick my Yukata, and I was being such a cunt I made the robot faced hottie weep uncontrollably. Needing a piss I got up to find the source of this horrific noise, ‘please don’t let it be downstairs’ I sadly hoped to myself. No surprise when it turned out it was.

Their hairy kid was now also crying, I heard bits of conversation, ‘you said you were going to marry me’ she said ‘I fucking never’ came the heroic reply. I can just imagine him promise the poor cow heaven and earth just for a fucking reach around, the despicable snivelling little fuck. She then began to really howl and he naturally lost his rag. Obviously we’re dealing with damage incorporated here, a woefully sad story of a pathetic grunting fuck-wit taking advantage of a sad vulnerable girl and him not having the required intelligence or care to take responsibility for his actions. So in one puff of jism two lives are permanently destroyed, the hairy one never even had a chance, and mankind takes another step towards destruction. The conversation ended with him yelling ‘fuck you’ and lots of door slamming as she wailed herself to sleep a few feet below me. Mercifully Myfwt slept through the whole thing, I didn’t get back to sleep and am fucking exhausted subsequently.

RIP Ned Sherrin

Odd/crap video, great song under the circumstances