The church was very beautiful. But as IC and I weren’t there as mere mortal sightseers I couldn’t help feel a tad anxious, I’ve heard some very distasteful things about these Catholics and I wasn’t overly happy being guided to some sort of inner sanctum after our entering via heavy studded doors, doors that faced the vast glittering alter. The alter of sacrifice. Shit….

We entered a crepuscular chapel-sized room lined with walnut panelling on which hung violent, moody, antique paintings featuring celestial trauma; all close to being masterpieces in their own right, just not quite. Our silent pilots invited us to sit at a large oak table under the pained gaze of a 15 foot high sculpture of Jesus getting knacked on the cross at Golgotha, now this piece was very nice indeed, I wonder if I could sneak it out…

The doors at the farther end of the room creaked open and a priest stood black in the doorway, candle light flickered from behind, he approached, he looked like a short, fat Count Dracula but more pissed off. Christ, my garlic…

Malevolently eyeing IC and I up and down as he arrived at the table I considered making a break for the holy water in the font… but it was too late. The priest sat down, down his arse went. Down towards the depths of hell.

Nice bloke as it turned out, we chatted a while then left for home and roasted rabbit and polenta, knackered by the day we took ourselves off to our (bloody respective) beds quite early and slept like the dead. (But just before I fell asleep it occurred to me that it was 21 years since I was 21. I was a little bit sick in my mouth then I fell asleep.)

On the penultimate day we drove towards the mountains to visit IC’s uncle (not the non-related fart from Christmas) but her late dad’s brother who I like, I hasten to add. He lives with his missus and son who has a young family of his own. His kids, bar one 7 year old, and his wife were off visiting other relatives so it was just the 7 of us.

IC’s Uncle, aunt and son (and his wife as it happens) are all doctors; they run a pharmacy which is sort of attached to the side of their house. The pharmacy shut at 1pm so we all went off to a local restaurant for lunch. It was highly recommended I had the tagliatelle with ragu for primo and duck for secondo. It was, of course, ridiculously good, and I managed to get a few (local) wines in to boot.

A few hours later we arrived back at their house, sated, and it was here I recalled, to my joy, they all smoke. The men favour pipes while Auntie smokes cocktail fags. After a period of conversation and a few smokes, IC’s uncle walked me to the drinks cabinet and invited me to help myself, smashing bloke, and his brandy was smoother than a fairies tights an’ all. Magnifico.

Last part of this balls next week then its business as usual, as it were. Here, take Gerry’s chart and a tune before fucking Vevo (who the fuck are they? I though youtube was free) disallow it.

NO ARTIST SONG TITLE Last Week Weeks On High Pos
30 Skunk Anansie Over The Love 24 11 5
29 Fenech Soler Demons NE 1 29
28 Manic Street Preachers Some Kind Of Nothingness 26 8 6
27 Paramore Playing God 20 8 9
26 Martin Solveig ft Dragonette Hello NE 1 26
25 Japanese Voyeurs Milk Teeth 22 7 10
24 Two Door Cinema Club What You Know NE 1 24
23 Pendulum Crush 27 2 23
22 Arcade Fire The Suburbs 18 6 14
21 Beady Eye Bring The Light 17 7 5
20 Pulled Apart By Horses Yeah Buddy 12 9 1
19 The Naked And Famous Punching In A Dream 21 4 19
18 Hurts Stay 14 13 1
17 Nero Me And You 25 3 17
16 Adele Rolling In The Deep 10 4 9
15 My Chemical Romance Sing 11 6 11
14 Funeral Party Finale 19 2 14
13 The Vaccines Wreckin’ Bar (Ra Ra Ra) 8 6 6
12 30 Seconds To Mars Hurricane 15 3 12
11 Motorhead Get Back In Line 16 3 11
10 The Vaccines Post Break-Up Sex 23 2 10
9 Bullet For My Valentine Bittersweet Memories 6 7 5
8 Hurts All I Want For Christmas Is New Year’s Day 5 5 5
7 Chase And Status Blind Faith 13 3 7
6 The Wombats Jump Into The Fog 9 4 6
5 The Courteeners Scratch Your Name Upon My Lips 4 9 2
4 Mona Trouble On The Way 7 6 4
3 Crystal Castles ft R Smith Not In Love 2 9 1
2 White Lies Bigger Than Us 3 6 2
1 The Pretty Reckless Just Tonight 1 6 1

(chose a non-Vevo version, that lot can cunt off)

3 responses to “vick

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