nurmel

News, I’ve sold my fucking flat. And in the nick of time too.

Last night, Cunt, the embodiment of a genetic experiment gone completely wrong, was found to be alive. This in itself is a disaster of seismic proportions. Even the suppressants of his masturbatory proclivities, to wit, emaciated mother of his hairy spawn (in particular the latter) were no more to be seen or heard.

Previously the sounds downstairs, whilst achingly irritating, were partially (though not always) contained by the fact the hairy one had to sleep (on occasion.) Without the policeman of infant-sleep the deranged bachelor noises have resumed with aplomb. Slamming doors, yelling, ‘singing, ’ git-music played at O2 levels and the unmistakable sounds of a person bringing himself to climax with a knurled stupid fist are back with vengeance.

Despite my securing a buyer for my miserable-by-default dwelling, I now have to wait under these disgusting circumstances. I just hope I get out before my mind does.

The past few days back in Blighty have been largely uneventful, work has shrivelled up like a Octogenarian teat but my evenings saved with the odd pint with Frank and visit to IC’s gaff in the East End, a part of London I shall shortly be residing in full time, I can’t wait and I mean that almost physically.

There’s been some interesting stuff in the news over the past few days, blood boiling stuff that I’ll briefly touch upon for fear of blowing up, a 30 year sentence for smuggling a bit of sniff into the country a day before some Cockmuck convicted of 25 counts of rape on his own children had his reduced to 14… *speechless* …The catholic church literally getting away with child abuse on a massive, massive scale, not one conviction, and today it’s come to light that some of the girls were so heavily sedated by their ‘carers’ that their children have been born disabled! Beat that!

But it’s not all been doom and gloom, far from it… Erm…

ANYWAY. It’s Friday, Gerry’s chart featuring Woody Allen on guitar! A Piqued exclusive. It’s going to be a hot sunny bank holiday weekend in London so I’ll be out and about as usual, drinking, eating fine food and drinking. Have fun! Death to my neighbour!

NO. ARTIST SONG TITLE LAST WEEK WEEKS ON
30 Madina Lake Never Take Us Alive 20 5
29 You Me At Six Finders Keepers NE 1
28 Yeah Yeah Yeahs Zero 21 9
27 Passion Pit The Reeling NE 1
26 Fightstar Mercury Summer 18 10
25 Eagles Of Death Metal Anything ‘Cept The Truth 17 8
24 Doves Kingdom Of Rust 22 13
23 Morrissey Something Is Squeezing…….. 23 3
22 Graham Coxon Sorrow’s Army NE 1
21 Papa Roach Hollywood Whore 14 8
20 Friendly Fires Jump In The Pool 28 2
19 Middle Class Rut I Guess You Could Say 15 5
18 Enter Shikari Juggernauts NE 1
17 Five Finger Death Punch The Bleeding 11 9
16 Empire Of The Sun We Are The People 24 2
15 Hollywood Undead Undead 10 6
14 Pink Please Don’t Leave Me 8 7
13 The Maccabees Love You Better 13 4
12 The Horrors Who Can Say 16 3
11 The Gossip Heavy Cross NE 1
10 Absent Elk Sun And Water 19 2
9 Marmaduke Duke Rubber Lover 12 5
8 Depeche Mode Wrong 5 10
7 Marilyn Manson Arma…Geddon 9 3
6 Twisted Wheel We Are Us 3 7
5 Kasabian Fire 6 4
4 Prodigy Warrior’s Dance 4 5
3 Maximo Park The Kids Are Sick Again 2 6
2 Placebo For What It’s Worth 7 3
1 Gallows The Vulture (Act 2) 1 6


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