I want Jeffrey Archer dead.
And I’m not talking passing away quietly in his sleep; I’m talking death by a thousand female fingernails, that every scorned woman on this planet, led by his fragrant wife, strip the little fart naked save his socks -purely because it would look funnier- place him on a lonely hillside in north-east Scotland and literally let them rip.
Last night on TV I witnessed the most abhorrent act of failed subterfuge that, by circumstance, dropped the trousers on a persons character as swiftly as if he’d reached into his underwear, removed his fetid dank tool and wanked green pus into the face of Felicity Kendal.
The Verdict, broadcast last night on BBC2 exposed ‘Lord’ Archer for the snivelling little poo-bud we all know and despise, but then went on to reveal the mental machinations of something so inherently disgusting I nearly popped my TV out the window onto the street below.
Briefly, he was part of a jury deliberating on the guilt of an alleged gang rape by a footballer and his mate. The misogynistic little creep was clearly over compensating for his crepuscular past and from the outset he’d decided that the best way to ingratiate himself to the viewing public was to side with the rape victim, whether the evidence was in her favour or not. Ignoring his lascivious attentions toward a young blonde, the show was punctuated by vomit inducing acts of faux compassion and philanthropy that, to a trained eye, barely concealed his schadenfreude.
But it wasn’t until the final deliberation of the jury that he really came unstuck. On account of the 12 members of the Jury failing to make a decision on the guilt of footballer and his mate, the judge decided to allow a majority of 10 or there would have to be a re-trial. And here it gets interesting.
Nine members of the jury had concluded there was insufficient evidence to call a guilty verdict, but 3 others, including Archer, were pushing for it. As it stood the jury was hung, but if the foreman could change the mind of one of the 3…
Two of jury stuck fast to the guilty verdict, but Archer, never one to turn down the opportunity to be the centre of attention decided (and already smarting from being hilariously interrupted mid-speech by the court Usher) to, all of a sudden, accept the fact that, after all, there may be a shred of a possibility they didn’t actually do it, and the fucking little turncoat went with the majority. But it wasn’t actually the evidence that swayed him; it was that he didn’t feel a re-trial was fair on the two MEN, who had been charged with rape. Never mind the victim he’d been so keen to see justice done by for the entire fucking show, that went out the window in second, all of a sudden, she wasn’t given a second thought.
Please take an extra few seconds to think about this, to look at what has happened here. Incidentally, why is he still ‘Lord’ archer, he’s an ex-con, not to mention a cur, with a life peerage, surely this title should’ve been stripped from him? The Cunt.
Oh, please ignore any typos or errors in this post, I couldn’t face reading it back.